my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
