ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
