drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
