I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
