I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
