Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
