we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
