Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
