My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
