Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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