It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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