so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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