I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
