I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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