I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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