Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize