ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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