I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize