you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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