He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
