so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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