there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We are all done wearing pants today
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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