its not stalking. its research.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
