Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
