Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
