I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
