my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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