You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
