try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
