well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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