D3 body, D1 cock
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
