He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
