but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
