Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
