1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
