You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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