i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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