ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
