you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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