I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
