I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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