My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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