New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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