Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
