Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am midnight drunk by noon
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
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I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
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He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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