Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The struggles of a small town man whore
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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