I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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