i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
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So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
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I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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