i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
