I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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