if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
