First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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