i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
