Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
