Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize