I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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