If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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