my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
