she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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