Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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